My blogger buddy Hoss, the Old Horsetail Snake, put out a call for Christmas Cookie recipes the other day. Since I don't cook or bake, I borrowed the picture of the Countess du Barry's beautiful Christmas Cookies which you see here.



Unfortunately my own little venture into domesticity didn't turn out quite as well. There must have been a mistake in the directions.

Christmas Cookie Recipe

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1/4 cup lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle scotch…preferably Glenlivet..or whatever libation you prefer

Cooking Instructions:
First sample the Glenlivet to check the quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the Glenlivet again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer ... Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar .. Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Glenlivet is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off of the floor ...Mix on the turner.If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a dewscriver.
Sample the Glenlivet to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something ... who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Glenlivet.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.Add one table.Add a spoon of ar, or somefink .. whatever you can find.Greash the oven.Turn the cake tin 360 degrees, trying not to fall over.Don't forget to beat off the turner.Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the bottle of Glenlivet.
Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher. rewax on the sofa til done.
Have a Cherry Mitsmas or whab evah.

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