Saturday, January 02, 2010
What a difference a decade makes....
On February 1, 1999, my beloved husband Bob passed away after a two year battle with leukemia. Here he is playing cards just a year before he died....so handsome, so full of life.
When we found out that he had leukemia, we could not believe it. He wasn't sick, he didn't feel bad. What was this thing that was supposed to kill him and yet would not give a sign? It was a year of discovery about cancer and how your life can change so completely that hospital visits become the norm.
During that year I also learned that my beloved cousin, Carolyn, had bone cancer. Carolyn was born 3 months after me and, because World War II was raging and all the men were gone, we all lived in my grandmother's house. Carolyn and I shared the same crib and then the same room. We were sisters before we knew we were cousins. And even though life took us on different journeys, we were always connected emotionally.
And into this mix came my beautiful dog, Mai-Ling. I posted about her recently so I won't repeat the history....just that she was with me at the beginning of this decade.
In 1999 I sat with Bob and held his hand as he died; then in May, 2000, I sat with Carolyn and held her hand as she died; then one month later in June, I sat with Mai-Ling and held her paw as she died. So began this decade for me.
I remember one of my friends asked me at the time, "What are you going to do now?" And I honestly did not know. How much can you fight? How many times can you replenish your spirit? Life seemed pretty hopeless. But Bob had told me before he died, "This life is short. Have as much fun as you can." After awhile I started thinking about his words and wondered what I could do about bringing joy to my life once again.
During that year I also learned that my beloved cousin, Carolyn, had bone cancer. Carolyn was born 3 months after me and, because World War II was raging and all the men were gone, we all lived in my grandmother's house. Carolyn and I shared the same crib and then the same room. We were sisters before we knew we were cousins. And even though life took us on different journeys, we were always connected emotionally.
And into this mix came my beautiful dog, Mai-Ling. I posted about her recently so I won't repeat the history....just that she was with me at the beginning of this decade.
In 1999 I sat with Bob and held his hand as he died; then in May, 2000, I sat with Carolyn and held her hand as she died; then one month later in June, I sat with Mai-Ling and held her paw as she died. So began this decade for me.
I remember one of my friends asked me at the time, "What are you going to do now?" And I honestly did not know. How much can you fight? How many times can you replenish your spirit? Life seemed pretty hopeless. But Bob had told me before he died, "This life is short. Have as much fun as you can." After awhile I started thinking about his words and wondered what I could do about bringing joy to my life once again.
The rest is history! The Countess was born in a Palace on South Beach and hasn't looked back. She is fortunate to have friends from Miami to Maine. My life today is a miracle of evolution, most of which you can read about in this blog. Sometimes I go back in the archives and read about my adventures over the past years and I am amazed that I have fashioned a fantastic life....like a phoenix rising from the ashes...I soar....
Countess Bedelia 1/02/2010 12:09:00 AM
3 Comments:
God knows you are strong and deserve to be adored. I hope I have that strength when it comes to the test,
Thank you for this beautiful post, Countess. My dear husband Morrie died on January 29, 1998. I never in a million years expected to be alone at this time in my life. Like you, it took me a little time to find my new path, but once I did it was full steam ahead, and I've never had such wonderful friends, nor so much fun, as I have in the past 10 years. Plus, I'm not alone! I just saw a program on TV about how the world will end in 2012, and if that's the case, we need to be having even more fun, LOL!
Mrs. Astor and Tosca...
This post seemed to touch a lot of people. One of my fb friends posted this today which seemed to fit: "No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
Love you both and can't wait to see you soon. xoxo
This post seemed to touch a lot of people. One of my fb friends posted this today which seemed to fit: "No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
Love you both and can't wait to see you soon. xoxo